You know what pisses me the fuck off? When people say they will do something and they just fucking don't. I mean, I am a very understanding person. Perhaps too understanding but that doesn't mean you have to take advantage of that! If you have a valid reason, then that's okay, I can understand that. And sure, everyone forgets sometimes. But when I know you just fucking don't do it, that's where I draw the line.
It's the worst when I trust someone to do said thing and they don't. They say they will and they say they will and I believe them, I really do. I sit around and wait and wait thinking, "Hm, well I trust them, they'll come through" but then I wait and wait some more and 5 hours later I come to the realization that it's just not going to happen no matter how much I deny it.
I mean, I could think of all the excuses in the world why they might not. It makes me feel better for a little bit. But in the end, I know it's not true. Then I think, "Maybe I just expect too much of them" and sometimes it might be true but usually I don't ask for a lot. Usually I don't ask of anything at all.
So there I am, sitting alone in my bed crying my little eyes out until they're all red and puffy from so much mascara running into them. My pillow practically dyed black from the stains. The worst part is, when they say they're sorry, I say, "It's no problem, really, no worries" and they will be on their merry little way. In the end, I just don't have the heart to tell them they hurt me, I don't want them to feel bad.
So this rant isn't really about how I hate people who say they will do something and don't. It's really about how I dislike how much I hurt myself to risk hurting others. I hate how I can't admit I'm hurting. But you know what? Ironically, I just did. And I feel a little better. So really, no worries. I'll be okay.
About Me
- GWYNZILLA
- So I'm not your typical girl. I usuallly dress in odd, 80s punk and aerobic influenced outfits of neon and black; sweat bands and leg warmers are a MUST. I think I was meant to be born in the 80's actually... and as an asian girl... but that's besides the point. I'm odd and quirky and usually a bubbly, bouncy girl but I do have my random depressed moments. The kind that I act as if my whole world is crashing down on me. Yeah, I'm a big drama queen, so what! I'm a performer for a reason, haha! I make YouTube videos, you should check me out! Pigtails, pokemon shirt, headband, legwarmers, oversized sunglasses and a peace sign pose; that's GWYNZILLA in a nutshell!
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3 comments:
i have the same problem. People screw me over but instead of risking looking like an ass i just say, "Yeah its not a big deal." i should be more of a douche.
I used to be that person, and eventually it built up until I just couldn't do it anymore.
Hopefully you don't have to reach that point, it's a terrible place to be.
If this person cares about you, they ought to know that you're hurting.
I do everything i said i would on time. well i think it isnt the matter of making ppl feel bad. It's they actually have to know. Let them take a little part of it. They should be responsible for themselves.
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