:)
(pssst, that's called sarcasm)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
So I Have This Idea...
I've been thinking about this for a while but I still can't decide if I should really go through with it or not. What exactly are you pondering? Well, if you insist, I've recently been contemplating writing a book. More of a personal novel kind of thing but possibly one day it may go public. Who knows. What is it about, you may be asking yourself. Well that I cannot tell you. Why? Well because it's a secret. You may also be wondering why I am forcing questions into your brain and talking all funny. Well I will tell you that, it's because it's 7:45am and I haven't gone to bed yet. But back to the book. Well I can tell you it's a bit about my life. No, it won't be another freaking diary book. The world has had enough of teenage girl diary books. This is a REAL book. Why would people be interested in my life? Well, they probably wouldn't. BUT! I am sure this will be something almost everyone could relate too or at least find amusing to read. We'll see. Anyway, once I get through a fair amount of it, I may post a section of it if you would like. If no one asks me or tells me they would like to read it, then I simply won't post any of it. Simple as that. So there you go, now you all know about my book. Tadaaaa!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Rant?
You know what pisses me the fuck off? When people say they will do something and they just fucking don't. I mean, I am a very understanding person. Perhaps too understanding but that doesn't mean you have to take advantage of that! If you have a valid reason, then that's okay, I can understand that. And sure, everyone forgets sometimes. But when I know you just fucking don't do it, that's where I draw the line.
It's the worst when I trust someone to do said thing and they don't. They say they will and they say they will and I believe them, I really do. I sit around and wait and wait thinking, "Hm, well I trust them, they'll come through" but then I wait and wait some more and 5 hours later I come to the realization that it's just not going to happen no matter how much I deny it.
I mean, I could think of all the excuses in the world why they might not. It makes me feel better for a little bit. But in the end, I know it's not true. Then I think, "Maybe I just expect too much of them" and sometimes it might be true but usually I don't ask for a lot. Usually I don't ask of anything at all.
So there I am, sitting alone in my bed crying my little eyes out until they're all red and puffy from so much mascara running into them. My pillow practically dyed black from the stains. The worst part is, when they say they're sorry, I say, "It's no problem, really, no worries" and they will be on their merry little way. In the end, I just don't have the heart to tell them they hurt me, I don't want them to feel bad.
So this rant isn't really about how I hate people who say they will do something and don't. It's really about how I dislike how much I hurt myself to risk hurting others. I hate how I can't admit I'm hurting. But you know what? Ironically, I just did. And I feel a little better. So really, no worries. I'll be okay.
It's the worst when I trust someone to do said thing and they don't. They say they will and they say they will and I believe them, I really do. I sit around and wait and wait thinking, "Hm, well I trust them, they'll come through" but then I wait and wait some more and 5 hours later I come to the realization that it's just not going to happen no matter how much I deny it.
I mean, I could think of all the excuses in the world why they might not. It makes me feel better for a little bit. But in the end, I know it's not true. Then I think, "Maybe I just expect too much of them" and sometimes it might be true but usually I don't ask for a lot. Usually I don't ask of anything at all.
So there I am, sitting alone in my bed crying my little eyes out until they're all red and puffy from so much mascara running into them. My pillow practically dyed black from the stains. The worst part is, when they say they're sorry, I say, "It's no problem, really, no worries" and they will be on their merry little way. In the end, I just don't have the heart to tell them they hurt me, I don't want them to feel bad.
So this rant isn't really about how I hate people who say they will do something and don't. It's really about how I dislike how much I hurt myself to risk hurting others. I hate how I can't admit I'm hurting. But you know what? Ironically, I just did. And I feel a little better. So really, no worries. I'll be okay.
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